I can’t do this. I’m the worst sister. Or almost could’ve been.
Many of my last entries have been me complaining about how careless Lumi and Astral can be, but today, the only Ceston I have to complain about is myself…
I knew it was unwise to approach that closely. I knew there was an invisible rogue about. The moment I closed in on my target, I had a feeling I made a grave mistake… One very painful backstab, and then another hit.. ?
Next thing I knew, I was being nursed by Nima and Aravash giving me a potion. The mongrel rogues were down; Krivak and the others were still chasing the archer.
I could possibly argue that I wanted to draw the rogues’ attention off Krivak who was already hurting badly… But even if so, I wouldn’t do so at the cost of my own life. What I did was foolish, no question about it.
Am I just dumber than I thought? Am I still emotionally distraught? I don’t really know, but I can’t make such a mistake again. I have to wisen up and not let my feelings get in the way of my judgement.
I don’t really want to dwell on this topic more. But I can’t help but worry about how Lumi would feel if she lost both of us today……
Since we left the First Descendants’ village, we’ve mostly just been fighting mongrel traitors and cultists in one of their hideouts. We killed most of the ones we encountered, but just now I incapacitated a more prominent looking one (who the archer referred to as Hosilla, I think?); we may interrogate her a bit now.
I can’t stop thinking about it… I’ll probably always regret today, but I guess it’s my turn to learn some harsh lessons.